Fear & Uncertainty
I remember a conversation I had with a friend last year about fear and uncertainty. His response stuck with me both humorous and profound;
At the time, we were both chasing similar dreams: landing the perfect job, securing the OSCP voucher, and ultimately gaining financial independence. We were filled with anticipation, unsure of what the future held but hopeful for what was to come.
Fast forward to today, and while life isn’t perfect, it has been a steady journey forward, a coastal ride with its ups and downs. Looking back, this is where the story truly began;
Sun’s Gon’ Shine On Everything You Do
From January to August last year, life was intense but fulfilling. I was locked in, fully focused on conquering the Certified Red Team Professional (CRTP) and Certified Penetration Testing Specialist (CPTS) which I did, though the CPTS took me two tries. That second attempt, however, was a lesson in resilience. It reinforced something important: I had been investing my time in what truly mattered my skills.
But after the certs, reality hit hard. I needed a new job. Not just for the money, but because my current one was taking a toll on me mentally. I wanted to quit so badly, but life has a way of keeping you enrolled in its toughest lessons especially when you’re drowning in uncertainty.
As much as I tried to stay afloat, the weight of it all was draining. Depression lurked around the edges, and my escape became late night hacking marathons. Picture this: loud music blaring, endless boxes to solve, energy drinks stacking up like trophies, and me reminding God very loudly, might I add that He really needed to open a door soon.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that pressure refines us. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said:
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
And so, with every sleepless night, every setback, and every moment of doubt, I kept going. Because the fire within was greater than the fear I had ahead.
Finding Purpose in the Chaos
At some point, I knew I had to shift my focus. So, I picked up a side project to sharpen my DAST and SAST skills, partly to distract myself, but also to grow. That decision led to something bigger than I expected: four CVEs under my belt;
- CVE-2024-44871
- CVE-2024-44872
- CVE-2024-55341
- CVE-2024-55342
For the first time in a while, I felt like I was doing something great again. The momentum was back, and hacking felt alive. I could see the shift, I wasn’t just aimlessly pushing forward; I truly understood what I was doing and where I was heading.
That’s when I decided to challenge myself further. Azure AD hacking became my next target, thanks to my friend Hac, who believed in me enough to gift me a pwned lab voucher. That moment meant a lot. Sometimes, all it takes is someone believing in you to remind you that you’re on the right path.
And through it all, my family was there. My mum, always making sure I wasn’t wrecking my health. My brother, never letting me spiral into my thoughts, always throwing in random distractions because sometimes, life isn’t that deep. Sometimes, the little things, the people who stand by you, the laughter, the random conversations are what truly matter.
When Preparation Meets Opportunity
Fast forward to November, and life had taken a turn. I landed three offers and accepted two, one contract-based and the other full-time. This is life. It’s unpredictable, surreal at times, and yet, somehow, things fall into place.
But despite the wins, a part of me still felt like I wasn’t working hard enough. Crazy, right? The same mind that once feared stagnation now questioned if it deserved the success. But that’s the thing about growth, it doesn’t always feel like progress until you stop to reflect.
At some point, I realized that life moves in phases. Opportunities don’t always come when you want them, but when the universe decides you’re ready. It’s a shift in perspective, a reminder that all you can do is stay prepared for when your moment arrives.
Reminds me of these bars from Roddy Ricch – “Lonely Road”:
The Universe Always Finds Its Timing
Life has been a little fairer lately. I can finally afford my basic needs again and even help others when I can. It’s been a wild ride, and I know I owe myself a reward soon.
Then came 12/12/2024. Right on that date, the email for the OSCP voucher landed in my inbox. Everything we worked for, the late nights, the grind, the sacrifices had finally paid off. It felt surreal, like the universe had been listening all along, waiting for the right moment to answer.
This wasn’t just about me. This was for the one person who had been in the trenches with me grinding, failing, pushing forward through blood, sweat, and tears. And now, here we are. No homo but i heart you Rami and I pray we get to where we really picture ourselves soon
Why I Can’t Be Everyone
This Isn’t Exactly a FAQ… Or Maybe It Is
- Why don’t you start bug bounty?
During the struggles, I got a lot of advice about starting bug bounty, but I had already been there. Trust me, I wasn’t ready for the duplicates/N\A frustration. Hopefully, I can dive into bug bounty again maybe under Web3, but right now, there are more important things to focus on. Setting priorities for each and every goal, is the deal for now.
- Any advice for someone going through the same struggles?
Here’s a piece of advice a mentor once gave me that truly worked:
- Closing Phase….Nothing More 🤷♂️
Life moves in phases; some uncertain, some rewarding, and some that test your patience beyond measure. But through it all, one thing remains true: growth happens in the trenches.
Every late night, every moment of doubt, and every step forward, no matter how small, adds up. Keep pushing, keep learning, and trust that your time will come. The universe always rewards preparation, sometimes later than expected, but always right on time.
And with that, the grind continues… 🚀